Taking a Break 4: My Lieutenant is a Buffoon
by BluebellsAndLavender
Summary: Byakuya and Renji are next in line to take a break. Turns out, they aren't staying anywhere comfortable. They're going ... camping in the mountains!
1. We're Going WHERE!

Hey guys! Serenity here ^^ Just finished this story :3 Enjoy! And yes, Byakuya seems a bit OOC but in actuality, when he was younger, he was quite hotheaded... ( Bleach wikia 8D ) I imagine under that cool exterior, Bya is still the same ;)

-Serenity.

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><p>Taking a Break #4<p>

Kuchiki Byakuya x Abarai Renji

My Lieutenant is a Buffoon

Chapter One

We're Going WHERE?

**.. ღ ..**

Abarai Renji ran down the corridors, looking for a certain dark haired captain. He had disappeared again to God-knows-where. These days, he could hardly be found. "Dammit, taicho, tomorrow we are going to the real world and I bet you haven't even packed a single damn shirt." Renji muttered under his breath.

As he ran, he tripped over a rock on the ground and he fell forwards. "Ouch." He said as she slowly sat up. Then he saw the robes of a captain before him. Swiftly, he got up to see which captain he had rudely fallen in front of. "Kuchiki taicho!"

"Renji. Are you prepared for our excursion tomorrow?" Byakuya asked in that deep masculine voice of his. It sent shivers down Renji's spine.

"Y-yes!" Renji answered, suddenly nervous for some reason. A bead of sweat dripped down the side of his face as he stood there, his nerves sizzling.

Byakuya noticed the sudden change in his fukutaicho's mood. _I wonder what happened… _"Then tomorrow, we leave in the afternoon. Please meet me by the gate. Don't make me come fetch you…" He said.

"Taicho, did you just make a joke?" Renji enquired, surprised.

"Yes. I believe I did."

Renji chuckled awkwardly and Byakuya began to walk past him. "See you tomorrow, captain!" Renji said as he also started to move. The older taicho brushed his arm past Renji's purposely and Renji blushed a deep red immediately.

_What the hell? Why am I blushing? _Renji scolded himself. _I'm not _gay _am I? I've always liked Rukia and I still do… Although taicho IS her older brother… I like his hair and how it looks nice draped around his neck. But he's a man and I'm not gay…_

_ Or are you? _Another nasty little voice crept into Renji's mind. _You could be homosexual y'know._

_ SHUT UP! _Renji screamed at his other voice. He absolutely refused to believe that he was attracted to men. Byakuya watched his lieutenant in silent curiosity as Renji's face contorted into the most hilarious expressions. "Renji." He said quietly, hoping to awake him from whatever had possessed him.

It worked. "Yes, taicho?" Renji asked eagerly. Maybe a little _too _eagerly.

"Get some rest. You seem tired." Byakuya wisely observed. Nodding, Renji turned to go pack.

**.. ღ ..**

In his room, Byakuya sighed as he ran his fingers through his long hair. It was time for a haircut. Taking out his katana, Byakuya said in a quiet voice the command. "Scatter, Senbonzakura."

The thousand cherry blossoms scattered all around the handsome sixth division captain as he directed them to cut his hair. They flew through the air as locks of hair fell onto the floor. "All done." He said as he swept the floor clean. Getting up from his chair, Byakuya dumped the rest of the garbage into a steel can. Suddenly, the door slid open and Ukitake Juushiro accompanied by Kyoraku Shunsui walked in.

"Hey there, Byakuya, you wanna go for a drink before you leave tomorrow?" Kyoraku's energetic voice rang out.

"No thank you."

"But I have news about where you're going to be stationed in the real world~" Kyoraku teased Byakuya playfully and though Byakuya tried to resist, curiosity took over him.

"Fine." He grumbled angrily. "Let's go."

**.. ღ ..**

"Ah, welcome back Kyoraku taicho!" The owner of the drinking hut greeted the pink kimono-clad taicho warmly and familiarly, giving Byakuya the impression that Kyoraku was a regular here.

"A private room please, Kiba." Ukitake requested. Kiba smiled as he lead the trio to a small room in the very back of the hut.

"Enjoy your stay, taicho, taicho and taicho!" He bowed respectfully and left.

"Now then, Byakuya, why don't you take a seat, and I'll tell you what Yama-jii asked me to tell you…"

**.. ღ ..**

When Byakuya left the drinking house, it was with anger showing on his face. _Why do I have to go CAMPING of all things with my idiot fukutaicho? Rangiku got to go to the hot springs, Kyoraku went to Ichigo's house, and Aizen stayed at Urahara's place. But no, I get to go camping in the MOUTAINS. And to add insult to injury, I have to go with RENJI. This is like a worse-case scenario. _He sighed as he stalked back to room. He needed all the rest he could get if he was going to go camping like the humans did.

**.. ღ ..**

"Good morning taicho!" Renji said loudly as he saw Byakuya appear beside him. "Are you all ready?"

"Yes I am, Renji. Let's go." Byakuya strolled into the gate with an air of fierce determination written on his face.

Inside the gate, Byakuya and Renji walked in absolute silence. Renji stared at Byakuya quietly from the corner of his eye as they strolled comfortably down the black dirt path. "Is there something on my face Renji?" Byakuya asked firmly as Renji turned red.

"No… Nothing, taicho. I was just thinking about something."

"Hmph." Byakuya scoffed and walked on.

_Ugh. I need to be more discreet next time… _Renji thought to himself, obviously embarrassed. Sighing, he continued to follow Byakuya until they reached the end of the long tunnel. Keeping their pace steady, the pair continued to run until they finally dropped into a rocky mountain terrain.

"Uh taicho, where are we?" The red haired fukutaicho asked with a confused look on his face.

"We're going camping."

After Renji had finally gotten over the initial surprise over being forced to go camping, he spotted a large garbage sack that was filled to the brim with many items. Ripping it open, he found several large pieces of camping equipment. "Taicho, let's set up before night falls…" Renji suggested and Byakuya nodded his agreement.

First, Renji took out the tent. He had – of course – never seen a tent before and neither had his taicho. Sighing, Byakuya picked up a long steel bar and stared at it with an air of amazement. _Do humans actually enjoy doing this? _"Renji. Pick up the two pieces of filthy cloth and bring it here." He instructed.

"Uh…" Renji hesitated.

"Is there a problem?"

"No… It's just that… Taicho, there's only one piece of cloth. That means only one tent…" Renji relayed this information hesitantly.

"… I see. Well, bring that one piece to me. We'll have to do with one tent I guess." Byakuya sighed as Renji brought over the large piece of yellow-ish cloth.

"Ah…" Renji muttered.

Then they began to work...

**.. ღ ..**

"Renji, would you please stick that long tube into his dirt hole right here?" Byakuya instructed and Renji sniggered. _That sounds funny. _He thought with a wicked smile plastered on his face. "What in the world are you laughing about…" Byakuya asked quietly. But his focus was diverted to how perfectly the rod fit into the crook of the tent.

"Taicho, this works perfectly!" Renji said with a huge smile on his face. "But, there are three more sticks. Where should I put them next?"

Finally, Byakuya got the joke. "… Renji, just gently _place _them in a square and bend _quickly _all of them towards the middle. But it will be hard to _bend over _the _hard _rods so please _try your very best _to make sure they fit _perfectly._"

"Ah, taicho, you shouldn't say those things…"

"Why not?" Byakuya answered, feining ignorance.

"You know full well that I'm not going to answer that, Kuchiki taicho…"

Byakuya sighed as he focused back onto the task at hand. Placing the rods into place, he and Renji finally finished the large tent that was fit for two people. Byakuya smiled peacefully as Renji whooped loudly and danced around joyfully. "Renji." He called gently, hoping to get his fukutaicho back on track.

"Yeah? I mean… Yes, Kuchiki taicho?" Renji quickly corrected himself as he stood still and if the mood wasn't serious, Byakuya swore that he would have laughed out loud. But he controlled himself.

"I understand you are happy but we need to get the inside of this living contraption ready so we can sleep. We can work on the fire and food tomorrow…" Renji nodded and obediently unzipped the door to the tent.

"Here are the sheets." Byakuya handed Renji the sleeping bags and Renji only stared at it, totally confused.

"Uh, taicho…" Renji began quietly. "These aren't sheets. Apparently, it's like a … bag? A bag that people… uh… sleep in."

"What…?" Byakuya asked, his voice dangerous. "We're sleeping in …" He paused. "In… bags?" He repeated slowly, unable to comprehend what Renji had just told him._ I can't believe the outrageousness of this whole affair._ _They want me to sleep in a bag. In a filthy bag that probably has been used a HUNDRED times before. The head of the Kuchiki family does NOT sleep in bags!_ He thought angrily to himself.

"Uh, taicho, I wish I could help you but I'm sleeping in a bag too." Renji chuckled humorlessly and Byakuya realized he had said the last bit out loud. Sighing, he resigned himself to his fate. Walking slowly inside, Byakuya watched as his lieutenant spread out the wrinkly green-ish bag.

"I'm going to sleep, Renji." Byakuya said and without a further word, he climbed into one of the bags. Renji did the same and immediately, he fell asleep. But the captain of the 6th squad couldn't.

As his fukutaicho slept soundly, Byakuya tossed and turned around in his own sleeping bag. He just _could not _get used to the feel of it under his skin. It felt like a slimy slug and it was cold as cold could be. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew through the poorly made tent and Byakuya shuddered as the entire tent turned cold.

He looked over to Renji who shivered slightly but still slept on. Byakuya felt jealous that his sub-coordinate could sleep so comfortably. Wrapping himself up in the bag, Byakuya forced his eyes to close and to sleep.

**.. ღ ..**

Bright and early in the morning, the birds started chirping as loudly as they could as they communicated with each other. Since they were camping in the mountains, the birds Byakuya and Renji heard were about ten times louder. Loudly, Renji groaned with discomfort and against his well, he sat up. When he looked to his left, he saw that Byakuya was still sleeping soundly.

Grinning to himself, Renji crawled quietly out of the little tent to find a campsite. Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he walked over to the wood that was already placed there and he decided he was going to surprise his taicho by cooking breakfast.

Picking up a lighter that had been left inside the bag, Renji tried to get it to open. Unsuccessfully of course. He tried and he tried but it just wouldn't work. Sighing, Renji abandoned the small silver contraption and he tried to light it by rubbing two pieces of the wood together.

This finally sparked a flame and Renji whooped with joy. Covering his mouth with his hand, he embarrassingly looked towards the tent to see if he had accidentally awoken his taicho. When nothing stirred inside the tent, Renji went back to working on the breakfast.

As Renji looked around, he found a few eggs and a wild boar. Using Zabimaru, he slaughtered and neatly cut the boar up to make the bacon. Using a pan that was found inside the bag, Renji started to cook the food he had found.

**.. ღ ..**

"Renji." Byakuya's quiet voice called as he stepped quietly out of the tent. He looked like he hadn't slept for months.

"Taicho! Good morning… You look like hell!"

"Yes, I'm well aware of that. What are you doing?"

"Oh well I'm cooking…" Renji gestured at the pan he was holding over the open fire. "This is bacon and GAH!" Renji exclaimed as he saw that the food was slowly turning black. Quickly lifting it away from the fire, he flung it into the air by accident.

As Renji ran around to catch the pieces before they fell to the ground, Byakuya thought that his fukutaicho looked like a buffoon. Sighing, he raised a hand to his forehead to massage his lobes but as he did, he felt a sudden pain in his forehead. Wincing, Byakuya bent over and Renji noticed. Renji ran as fast as he could to his captain but it was too late.

Byakuya collapsed onto the ground.

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><p>I hope you liked it :3 Please review ;)<p>

-Serenity


	2. Does Human Medicine Even Work?

This is much shorter than usual , sorry ! D:

-Serenity

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><p>Taking a Break #4<p>

Kuchiki Byakuya x Abarai Renji

My Lieutenant is a Buffoon

Chapter Two

Does Human Medicine Even Work?

_**Previously in Chapter One…**_

_Running around to catch the pieces before they fell to the ground, Byakuya thought that his fukutaicho looked like a buffoon. Sighing, he raised a hand to his forehead when he felt a sharp pain there. Wincing, Byakuya bend over and Renji noticed. Renji ran as fast as he could to his taicho but it was too late._

_ Byakuya collapsed onto the ground._

**.. ****ღ**** ..**

"TAICHO!" Renji yelled in absolute desperation as he tried to wake Byakuya up. But his captain just wouldn't open his eyes or move his hand or ANYTHING. The red-head was desperate for a sign that he was still alive. _At least his heart is still beating, although faintly._

Running a hand through his hair, Renji sighed as he carried the unconscious Byakuya inside the tent. _Taicho… I swear, I'll kill whoever did this to you! _He thought angrily as Byakuya stirred. The noirette's hand twitched and the lieutenant's heart lifted for a brief moment. Byakuya didn't open his eyes but Renji thanked the gods for the small sign of hope.

_BOOM._ Outside, something crashed into what sounded like the pan. Climbing out of his gigai, Renji grabbed Zabimaru as he ran outside. A huge bear had crashed into their mini-campsite, looking for food! "Howl, Zabimaru!"

The sword extended and it smashed into the bear, sending it flying. With a sigh, Renji began to clean up the wrecked campsite. Then he heard a groan coming from inside the tent.

Abandoning the pot, the fukutaicho speedily ran inside to check on his taicho. "Renji?" Byakuya had finally opened his eyes and now he peered around, seeming to be very confused. "Ah!" Byakuya had sat up before by himself but now, he winced in pain as he bent over, clutching his stomach.

"Are you okay, taicho?" Renji asked hurriedly. But Byakuya couldn't answer. He was in too much pain. Groaning, he fell backwards against his pillow with surprising force. Renji watched in horror as Byakuya was fighting severe pain.

"Get… Medicine…"

"Medicine? Where? Taicho!"

"Suit… Case…" Speedily, Renji made his way to this captain's black suitcase. Rifling around in it, he found a small bottle of pills that read 'Made by Unohana Retsu'. Pulling one of them out, Renji handed the small white drops to his captain who downed them readily.

"Thanks." Byakuya said as the pain ceased in his lower abdomen almost instantly. Sitting up normally, the long haired taicho stared at his lieutenant with a curious look on his face. "Renji."

"Yeah?"

"… Can I have some water please?" Renji nodded quickly as he scrambled to get some water for his previously ailing captain.

"Taicho, what do you think made you ill?" Byakuya lulled this question over for a few seconds before answering.

"I don't know. First, the pain started in my forehead. Then I assume I collapsed." Byakuya paused to take a sip of water and Renji nodded, confirming his guesses. "After I fell, I woke up briefly and then the pain moved to my stomach. Correct? And that brings us to now."

"Yes, that's right." Getting up, Renji started to head outside. "You can stay inside taicho, get some rest… And I'll -"

"No."

"No?" The red-head looked surprised.

"Did you not hear me properly? I said no. We're going to that ridiculous candy shop run by that eccentric ex-captain. Let's go." And with that, Byakuya crawled out the tent with as much dignity as he could manage.

**.. ****ღ**** ..**

"Ah, Abarai-kun, and Kuchiki-san! Come on in please!" Urahara's loud voice rang out throughout the small candy shop as he eagerly welcomed in the two esteemed guests. As Byakuya padded in, he swiveled his head around, studying the place intently.

The room looked rather boring but Urahara then slid back the door separating the store from the rest of the small Japanese style house. Inside, it was revealed that the house was bigger than it looked. Renji comfortably went in and sat down on the right side of the brown coffee table in the middle because after all, he had stayed here before. More accurately, he had " free-loaded " here before.

Byakuya sighed as he sank down onto the ground gracefully. _Tch. This place doesn't have any chairs? _He complained to himself inside his head. Urahara rubbed his hands together happily as he also sat down. Suddenly, another sliding door opened and Tessai walked in.

"Here's some tea Byakuya-dono, Renji-dono…" Renji accepted his drink gratefully and Byakuya did the same. After taking a sip of the hot liquid, Byakuya began to speak. He explained the dilemma of his illness to the shopkeeper who listened intently.

"Ah, I see… I have some medicine here, would you like some?" Urahara suggested as he held up a human medicine called _Tylenol. _Staring at it strangely, Byakuya reluctantly took it. "It should help", the black kimono-clad ex-captain explained. "I took a human medicine and I changed it somewhat so it should be suitable for shinigami as well as humans. Actually, it should probably knock out a human for a while. For a few days probably so I suggest you keep it away from any humans."

Byakuya nodded as he took the small bottle and stored it in a secret pocket he had sewn on the inside of his robe.

"Oh and I forgot to mention this. Apparently, it seems like a couple of shinigami in Soul Society have been going through the same thing you have…"

"Who?" Byakuya inquired with an unusual interest showing in his voice.

"Oh, just a couple of unseated shinigami." The long haired captain relaxed. "But… Kuchiki Rukia has also taken ill." Urahara looked uncomfortable as he relayed this information to Rukia's brother who immediately stood up and left the room in one sweeping motion.

"… I'll go after him." The red-head got up out of his position to chase after his captain. But of course, it was no use because Byakuya's shunpo was only second to that of Yoruichi, the Goddess of shunpo herself.

**.. ****ღ**** ..**

Using shunpo all over the place so Renji wouldn't find him, Byakuya tried to think rationally. His beloved adoptive sister had been struck with the same illness as he. And he knew best how painful it had been for him. He honestly didn't want anyone to go through that, much less Rukia.

_I have to focus. I can't go back to Soul Society now, I was ordered to come to the real world. This is my break after all. But what kind of break is this…? _Byakuya sighed as he pulled out Senbonzakura. Just as he was about to open a senkai gate, he heard someone shouting his name behind him. "TAICHO!" It was Renji.

_Oh thank god I got here in time… If Byakuya went back now, I would get in trouble. Yamamoto-san specifically told me to keep a watch on him because he worked too much… _Renji thought as he panted, clearly out of breath. "Taicho, don't do anything rash. You still haven't recovered from your own illness. Take care of yourself first… C'mon."

Giving up, Byakuya allowed himself to be taken back to their tent in the mountains. As the prideful taicho climbed into his sleeping bag, he turned to say a few last words to Renji before he slept. "Just so you know, this will be the first and last time you are allowed to order me around." And with that, Byakuya removed his scarf and fell asleep slowly.

Shaking his head and chuckling, Renji walked around outside, unsure of what to do. He himself was horribly worried about Rukia but for some reason, he was worried about Byakuya more. "GAH!" A horrible scream alerted Renji to the presence of someone else in the vicinity.

Then, suddenly, someone tumbled out of a bush nearby. The person had glasses, cropped black hair and he held a blue bow. "Ishida Uryu!" Renji called out in surprise. Hearing his name called, Ishida turned around to look at the pineapple-haired man.

"Yes?"

"What the hell are _you _doing _all the way _out here?" Renji enquired.

"I'm training. What are _you _doing?"

_Smartass. _Renji thought before he answered. "I'm on a break with my taicho."

"Whatever.", Ishida fixed his glasses in a way similar to that of Nanao. "Have you seen a bear today or yesterday?"

Renji looked sheepish before he answered. "Uh… why?"

"Because that bear has a very powerful poison within its body that could be made into either a medicine or a dangerous poison of course. There's only one of the kind of bear left in this world and I need to capture it. Have you or anybody else experienced sudden pain in their forehead and/or lower abdomen?"

_Blah blah blah, this Uryu guy just blabs on and on. Whatever. Wait, bear? Forehead? _"Yeah! My captain. Kuchiki taicho."

"Well then, you'd better help me capture that bear before someone else catches it and uses it to poison more people." Nodding, Renji agreed and he crawled into the tent to leave a note for Byakuya. After he did, Renji left with nothing but the clothes on his back and Zabimaru.

**.. ****ღ**** ..**

Half an hour later, Byakuya woke up groggily and he called out into the darkness. "Abarai." When nobody answered, the taicho looked around for some sign of life. He found the note Renji had left him.

_Kuchiki taicho,_

_I've left to find a cure for your sickness. It's linked to a special type of bear. I'm going to get you a cure. Please rest up and I'll be back shortly with enough potion to heal you and Rukia. Rest assured._

_-Renji_

As Byakuya read the messy scrawl, he sighed. It was badly written and it was weird but for some reason, it made the usually emotionless man feel comforted and relieved. He settled back into his bag so he could rest. Just like what Renji said.

**.. ****ღ**** ..**

Just as Byakuya read the note, Renji and Uryu were out searching everywhere for the illusive normal-looking brown bear. It was hard to fathom that such a regular looking bear would be that important to the welfare of so many people. Jumping around, Renji spotted a guy who carried a big hunting rifle. He was standing over the dead body of something big. The pair moved closer.

He was standing over the dead body of the last special brown-bear on earth.

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><p>I hope you enjoyed this even though its so short ;A; R&amp;R! :D<p>

Cheers!

-Serenity


	3. Bad Robbers

This is short . D: Sorry ! And a whole lot of conversation .. :/

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><p>Taking a Break #4<p>

Kuchiki Byakuya x Abarai Renji

My Lieutenant is a Buffoon

Chapter Three

Bad Robbers

_**Previously in Chapter Two…**_

_Just as Byakuya read the note, Renji and Uryu were out searching everywhere for the illusive normal-looking brown bear. It was hard to fathom that such a regular looking bear would be that important to the welfare of so many people. Jumping around, Renji spotted a guy who carried a big hunting rifle. He was standing over the dead body of something big. The pair moved closer._

_He was standing over the dead body of the last special brown-bear on earth._

**.. ****ღ**** ..**

Immediately, Renji jumped down to try and get the bear from the hunter. They needed that bear! "STOP!" The red-haired fukutaicho yelled loudly and the startled hunter looked up with a look of surprise on his face.

"Uh… Do I know you?" The hunter spoke in a raspy voice.

"Y-yeah… About that… No. I just need that bear you have there," said Renji.

"What, this?" The man gestured to the corpse that was slowly rotting behind him.

"Yes. May we please have it?" Uryu asked politely as the man rubbed his prickle of a beard. "It's terribly important for us to have it…"

"Well, I'm very sorry about that, but no can do. This here is my pride and joy! I've been huntin' it for so long and I'm not just going to give it up now! You can find one yourself. Sorry kids!" He moved to pick up the bear but Renji quickly moved in front of him.

"Mr. Hunter sir… W-"

"My name is Takanada."

"Okay… Mr. Takanada, isn't there anything we can do to persuade you to give us that bear?"

Takanada thought about it for a moment. _I wonder why those kids need the bear so much. They seem really desperate. _"Well, why do you need the bear so much?" He asked suspiciously.

"That…" The red-haired looked pretty distressed. _Should I tell him? Should I not? Crap… I don't want him to ask questions or get suspicious but it looks like he's already having doubts about my credibility. I'll tell him anyways I guess. _"For medicinal reasons. That bear is the only bear of its kind… left in the world." Renji reluctantly explained to a dubious looking Takanada.

"Well… That sounds rather far-fetched son. I'm sorry, but I can't let you have it." And with that, he got up and took the bear with him as he walked away.

Just as Renji was about to call him back, Uryu stopped him. "No. Let him go. We can get it back tonight."

"Tonight?" The 'pineapple' haired asked questioningly, not sure what the young Quincy meant

"Yeah. I already put a tracker onto the bear." The black-haired smirked as he pushed his glasses further up his nose in a superior way. "Now all we need to do is wait until night falls and then, we can go get the bear. Okay?" Renji looked totally surprised.

"A tracker? When did you do that…? But anyway, okay. Fine. I'll go back to Kuchiki taicho…" Then, the two quickly worked out all the details for that night. They were going to get that bear back no matter what.

**.. ****ღ**** ..**

"Hey, taicho, are you there?" Renji called quietly into the tent as he looked around for Byakuya. "Taicho! Can you hear me?" When no sound came from inside the small living facility, the now-suspicious fukutaicho crawled into the door cautiously as he glanced around worriedly.

Byakuya was gone.

"TAICHO!" He yelled as he ran outside, searching.

"Yes, Abarai fukutaicho?"

"Taicho!" Renji looked surprised as he turned around and saw Byakuya standing there with a slightly amused / constipated look on his face. "Are you feeling good enough to be moving around?"

"Of course. Do you honestly think that I would go out if I felt sick? I'm not a child, Abarai." The long-haired taicho said in a monotone voice that had just a touch of sarcasm mixed in.

"S-sorry… It's just… Uryu and I found the medicine but someone else has it right now… So tonight I'm going to go get it for you. I hope that's okay with you…"

Byakuya nodded. "It's fine. Anyway, I would like to get some rest. Good luck tonight." He crawled into the tent with his head held high as Renji smiled a smile full of confidence. Tonight was going to be fun.

**.. ****ღ**** ..**

"Hey Ishida!" Renji raised his hand to greet the waiting dark-haired Quincy.

"Good evening Renji… Are you ready? I see you're wearing black. That's good." Pushing his glasses further up his nose, Ishida sniffed. "We should get going. Follow me." He took out some sort of device that beeped and held it out in front of him. Then, they started to walk.

**.. ****ღ**** ..**

"Okay, we're here." The white cloak-clad boy stopped in front of a warehouse kind of building. "The bear should be in there. So, we're going in and taking a bit of the bear. Then, its straight out. Don't mess around. Got it?"

_Jeez. Why so bossy…? _Renji complained to himself before he answered. "Alright… I got it."

"Then let's go in."

**.. ****ღ**** ..**

BANG! "Ouch!" Renji cried as he hit his knee on something hard in the dark. This earned him a reproachful glare from Ishida in the dark.

"Shh!"

"Sorry!" He whispered back in a hushed tone.

"Be careful."

"It would be a lot easier with a flashlight." He couldn't but let some sarcasm seep into his voice. Ishida scoffed bitterly.

"I'm doing everything you are without a flashlight so stop complaining! Now… I think I've found something." With a hurry, Renji stumbled over to where Ishida was standing.

"What is it?"

"I think it's the bear!"

And just as Renji was about to pick it up, the lights flashed on. _All _the lights flashed on. The entire room was bathed in light and the pair looked up in surprise, trying to figure out who had turned on the light.

A tall man stood by a light switch with his finger raised. He opened his mouth.

"What the hell is going on here?"

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><p>Cliffy ! ;O Review please ~<p>

-Serenity


	4. Don't Be Cruel to Animals

I know, I know . I've been slacking off :( Sorry guys! I've just been really busy and yes , I know that isn't a good excuse .

Sorry!

At least enjoy this.

I'll try to get more up later :)

* * *

><p>Taking a Break #4<p>

Kuchiki Byakuya x Abarai Renji

My Lieutenant is a Buffoon

Chapter Four

Don't Be Cruel to Animals

_**Previously in Chapter Three…**_

"_I'm doing everything you are without a flashlight so stop complaining! Now… I think I've found something." With a hurry, Renji stumbled over to where Ishida was standing._

"_What is it?"_

"_I think it's the bear!"_

_And just as Renji was about to pick it up, the lights flashed on. All the lights flashed on. The entire room was bathed in light and the pair looked up in surprise, trying to figure out who had turned on the light._

_A tall man stood by a light switch with his finger raised. He opened his mouth._

"_What the hell is going on here?"_

**.. ****ღ**** ..**

Everyone stood still for a moment. No one moved. No one spoke.

"I'll say it again. What the hell is going on here?" The man yelled out angrily. Renji nervously glanced at Ishida and Ishida stared blankly back at him.

"Uhh..." The redhead started.

"We thought this was abandoned." Uryu cut in quickly, trying to prevent his partner from saying anything stupid.

"Well, it's not. Get out."

The sensible thing to do was to turn around and walk away. Uryu was planning to do just that, when he saw the bear. Renji also spotted it.

"What are ya waiting for? Get out!" The man commanded.

"Okay." Renji said as he rushed towards the bear and grabbed it. "I'll be borrowing this!" And he ran with Ishida behind him.

"You fool..." Ishida breathed out as they quickly sped away.

"Yeah, but I got the bear. And that's what counts."

Behind them, hot on their trail, was the man from the warehouse. He kept up with them easily, using speed in some odd way. Ishida noticed him immediately. Turning around, he shot an arrow at his leg, rendering him incapable to run.

"Dammit." The man swore coarsely as he had no choice but to watch as they sped away.

**.. ****ღ**** ..**

A few minutes later, the pair reached the place where they had left Byakuya. Striding into the tent boldly as he held the bear over his shoulder, Renji called out, "Byakuya-sama?"

There was no answer.

There was no answer because Byakuya was gone.

"Taicho! Where are you?" The hotheaded fukutaicho looked around in a panicked state.

"I'm right here." The regal taicho said as he strolled in, dignified as ever. He saw the bear that was draped across his lieutenant's back and inside, he felt a sense of relief. "You got the bear."

"Yeah, I did. Here, let me cook it for you."

Smiling, Renji headed outside to roast the tender meat of the elusive bear that he had finally caught. He didn't give a second thought to the warehouse or the man inside it.

As he was setting up, Renji put the bear aside as he got the fire ready. Wrong move. Something jumped out of the shadows and snatched up the animal. "Hey!" Renji roared as he pulled out his zanpakuto. "Let go of that! Growl, Zabimaru!"

He released his sword as he lunged at the thief, his eyes ablaze with excitement and anger. The thief merely took out his own weapon and stabbed Renji quickly in the gut.

"You're not getting away that easily!"

Renji swirled around and faced the man with anger in his eyes. "Bankai!" His zanpakuto immediately changed into one long bamboo monster that reared its head to stare at the enemy with menace. But before he could make a single move, the other man moved speedily towards him and quickly stabbed him three more times.

Falling to the ground, Renji clutched his stomach and chest as blood spurted out of them like rain. The man was good. He had stabbed Renji in the most precise spots that were guaranteed to hurt him the most. The fukutaicho hadn't stood a chance.

Glaring at the enemy standing before him, Renji growled, "Give… Me… Bear…"

"You're in no position to be making demands, Abarai Renji." The man sneered.

_How did he know my name?_ The redhead thought. Maybe this wasn't just a normal thief… But as he lay on the floor, he didn't have much energy to think about anything else except how he was going to die a slow painful death like this.

Spitting once on Renji's face, the man re-adjusted the bear on his shoulder and once again, melted into the darkness cast by the trees.

**.. ****ღ**** ..**

Byakuya sat inside the tent, listening to what was going on outside. He knew that even if he intervened, he wouldn't have been able to do much in his state. After he had made sure the other man had left, the taicho rushed outside, hoping with all his heart that Renji was alive.

He was, thankfully.

Breathing a sigh of relief and exasperation, Byakuya gently carried Renji back to the tent and cared for his wounds. But as he cleaned each wound, as he bandaged him up, he felt fatigued and laboured. His breath began to become heavier and he wiped a drop of sweat from his brow.

"Dammit…" He muttered before he crashed onto the floor beside Renji, his forehead heating up.

**.. ****ღ**** ..**

"Sir, I got the bear that you asked." The thief said as he handed the carcass to the man that was sitting in a large chair at the end of the long hallway.

The man set his long fingers upon the animal, inspecting it.

"Good job." His loud voice echoed across the walls.

The thief looked hopeful for he hoped to get promoted to a higher position. No such luck.

Raising his gun, the man sitting in the chair shot his thief in the head.

* * *

><p>I hope you liked it even though it was really short ! :

Review please? :D

Cheers,

Serenity.


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